One Hell of a Family
by koreanBBQ
Summary: The Principal could clearly tell that they where One Hell of a Family. Short one-shot about Dante and Lady's son getting in trouble at school. ((I didn't add the kids name because i kinda wanted you guys to imagine the kid's name yourself))


"These are your parents?" The scraggly looking Principal stared incredulously at the adult pair sitting on both sides of the young white haired boy. He then looked at the boy for an answer. The boy nodded a "yes" and slumped down into the wooden chair, holding his head down, and avoiding eye contact with the Principal. The Principal looked over to the "Parents".

The "Husband", who also had the same white hair as the young lad, sat with a large pompous attitude. His legs where spread widely. He leaned back in his chair, leaning to an edge with the opposing arm hung over behind the chair. The husband's lazy expression spoke loudly towards the Principal with the words of "I don't want to be here". But the most interesting, more like threatening subject on the Husband was his attire. The red trench coat that hung over the male's broad shoulders had a menacing feel. The feeling attempted to hide the Husband's gun holsters, which weren't actually hidden. In the holsters, were two clearly visible gilded guns. Both seemed classy, the principal assumed he was a gun collector who liked to show off his collection, but his assumption became invalid when he noticed the husband's long sword casually leaning next to him. The sword looked as if he bought it from a collector who collects from the underworld. 'Maybe he loves eccentric items?' The Principal thought.

He looked over to the "Wife", who he assumed would be in; a more motherly, blouse attire. Well clearly she did wear a blouse. A very loose unbutton blouse at that. Her breast where largely exposed. They plumped upwards as the "Wife" motioned to cross her arms. The Principal noticed that she too hand gun holsters strapped around her waist. Maybe the woman was also a crazed gun collector, the Principal thought as he his stare wondered off behind the "Wife" to the giant gun that leaned up against her chair. It was more like a rocket launcher. Rocket launchers were already dangerous as is, but this one had a giant blade attached to the tip of the launcher, similar to a bayonet except larger than regular bayonets. Clearly the bayonet was real. It had a shine or a certain gleam that real weapons had. It didn't read as plastic or coarse, but it clear read in bold capital letters "**DANGEROUS**".

And dangerous it was. This entire family steamed off dangerous. A "Father" who seems like a lazy douche carries a large sword around. He probably swings it around tormenting their son. A "Mother" who has a large rocket launcher with a giant, clearly sharpened, bayonet attached to the tip of it and she probably never feeds the kid. Then here's the kid himself. The kid is probably miserable, being abused by violent psychopathic parents. It's no wonder the kid was violent towards other children. The Principal's mind wondered off into horrifying thoughts imagining what they've already done to the poor child. But his train of the thoughts soon came to an end when the "Father" abruptly spoke.

"So why's the kid gettin' suspended anyways?" asked the "Father".

The principal jolted his trance towards the "Father", he hesitated for a moment, "Ah, yes, of course. Let's get to the topic here. Mister –"

"Dante" The "Father" cut in.

"What?" The Principal said in confusion.

"Call me Dante, all that Mister and Sir shit is too goddam formal for me. Ain't my style." Dante replied with a smug smirk.

The Principal paused to collect his thoughts about the "Father". "Um, okay. Dante and um…" He looked over to the "Wife".

"Lady," She said.

"Lady?" He looked at her incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"My name is Lady, do you have a problem Principal?" She sassed back.

He felt threatened by her and leaned back subconsciously like a cowering prey. "Okay Lady, Dante. Your son, here violently attack another student today in class."

"Why'd you do that kid?" Dante looked over to his kid.

The kid just looked down even more, clearly ashamed of his actions. He clearly whispered a "sorry" under his breath. This kid was clearly terrified of his father. And the Principal wouldn't blame him. The "Father" or Dante clearly gave off a malign aura. If he was the kid, the Principal would also be petrified of his father.

"Kid, your pops asked you a question." Lady spoke annoyed.

The kid looked up slightly at his "Mother". "That kid called you a wh….." he whispered.

"A what?" Lady spoke, louder this time.

"THAT KID CALLED YOU A WHORE!" The kid cried.

His "Mother" slightly shocked, then grinned and slapped a proud slap on his back. "Good Job!"

The mood eased just a bit and the kid smiled shyly and looked downwards again.

"Good Job?" the Principal spoke in complete disbelief. "Your kid sent another student to the hospital because a student made a simple rude remark! For Goodness sakes, what's wrong with you!?"

Dante got up and slammed his hands on the Principal's oak desk. "Hey! Don't raise your voice against my wife!"

The Principal spoke with a voice almost at a screaming volume. "Excuse me! BUT SIR", he was cut off.

"Dante!" Dante corrected. "Look, the only thing our son did was defend his Ma, is that wrong? Hell no it ain't. You bald headed-"

"Dante!" Lady yelled. Dante looked at his "Wife" and gave her a 'what the hell?' look. "Remember we need to act civil." She said calmingly.

"What? You were the one congratulating the kid because he busted someone's ass!"

"Hey, if I heard it myself, I would've busted that kid's ass myself too. Maybe teach that kid a thing or two about manners." Lady snarled at Dante.

In the midst of all this chaos the principal turned his attention to the miserable kid. He saw a smile on the kid's face as the kid watched his parents bickered with one another about who is being civil. The kid sometimes would chuckle when his "Mother" won a statement, then he would burst out laughing when his "Father" quickly comes up with a new statement to argue upon. The kid honestly did not look miserable at all. In fact he looked like he enjoyed being with his parents. His face lit up with excitement.

"Um Principal?" a small voice broke through the loud argument.

The Principal looked and noticed the kid. "Yes?" he asked.

"Um, I'll. I'll um take my punishment, so can we leave?" the kid asked shyly.

The Principal was a little startled or more like strangely amused and allowed it. He followed the kid as he pushed his arguing parents out the door. The Principal stepped out to watch the strange family walk away. Their voices stopped arguing and clearly you could hear a normal conversation.

"Hey Pops?" the kid asked.

"Yeah kid?"

"Can we go to the shooting range?" The kid asked with the same pompous sounding voice his father had.

"Well, why the hell not?" His dad lifts him off the ground and sits the kid on his shoulders. "The Ebony needs to get some shootin' in anyway."

The kid then turned to his mom, "Hey Ma, Isn't the Principal a little scary to you?"

"What? He's bald and old. He isn't scary at all." His mother laughed.

"That's exactly what makes him scary!" The kid shuddered.

The Principal touched his smooth head of his. 'That's why he was nervous in the office, he was afraid of my bald head.' The Principal thought in silence. Their voices echoed off into a distant. "What a hell of a family." The Principal thought as he gave an exasperated sigh and returned to his desk, exhausted. "Better get a wig or maybe some hair loss shampoo".

* * *

I kind of want to point out some things in the story if you guys didn't quite catch on. If you read it you would probably notice that the words "Husband" changes to "Father" and the words "Wife" changes to "Mother". This is the Principal subconsciously beginning to see them as the "Kid"'s parents. The Principal went from seeing them as a crazed couple to crazed parents.

And for why the Kid was afraid of the Bald Principal is for you to imagine up. It could be a small childish fear or something more terrifying. Who knows.


End file.
